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Ryan Rogers

Age: 23

Occupation:college student

Number of Cruises: 2

Cruise Line: Carnival

Ship: Carnival Conquest

Sailing Date: 2011-03-28

Itinerary: beach vacation

Spring break is the most expensive time of the year to go, but don't expect it to be any better than going in January. The only thing I was happy with was our room steward took great care of us. Not one American works for the cruise line, although the CEO and owner is. They cut every corner possible to make every dollar and cent they can carve out of you.

The buffet food was horrible. Great variety, but nothing had a single bit of good taste to it. We even ate at the steakhouse, which was okay at best. The Russian woman who showed us the cuts of meat told us this long story about how good it was that was undoubtedly straight from a cue card. This was confirmed when she said the same exact thing to the table beside us. The Renoir dining room had food that was also just, okay, and my advice to you would be just to not go on the cruise, but if it's too late and you've already bought your tickets, I recommend you order at least two starters, and two entrees, because you will inevitably be disappointed.

It was tiny, and there was only one wall outlet in the entire cabin. I recommend you bring a 3 to 1 adapter and an extension cord, although they are forbidden items. The worst they'll do is take them from you and then turn around and give them back when you get off the ship. The room was clean, and stayed that way thanks to our member of the housekeeping staff. He actually called us by name in passing throughout the entire cruise, which was impressive, but not enough to stand alone and make the cruise a success.

Well, if you like comedians that aren't funny this is right up your alley. The spa is nice, but we middle class folks can't afford to go in there more than once. Couples massage ran $300. It was worth it. The pools and hot tubs stayed full from open to close, so don't expect to find a seat.

If you're filthy stinkin' rich, by all means blow that money on a fun pre-planned activity. That's the beauty of being rich. You don't have to think for yourself anymore. If you are middle class folks, and want to have a good time, take a taxi ride to the nearest place where you can rent a moped or a car for less than $50 and make your own excursion. It's obvious that the beach runs along the edges, so don't go into town, and you'll find something fun to do at port, cheaply.

I strongly recommend that you consider doing an all inclusive trip to Cozumel. Don't go on a cruise if you can avoid it. Don't ignore my advice until the point of no return, you will be severely disappointed. I love Mexico, but heads are being chopped off right now so stay away. People on Carnival sponsored shore excursions have been held up by the busload in Jamaica by the way. Let's recap: The food sucked. McDonald's is more appetite pleasing. The beer was marked up to about $7 each. Last time I checked, I wasn't going to a Bob Seger concert. The cheapest shots and/or mixed drinks were $5.50. If you plan on budgeting a couple thousand dollars just to drink, the food and the rest of the cruise may then be bearable. The only way to profit yourself, is not to go. If you have kids, and want them out of your hair for most of the day, well a cruise ship does provide day care so you can get trashed with your significant other, but the way I see it is if you have kids the trip should be centered around them and their good time, not your own. Honestly, the only way you could enjoy this trip would be if you were old as dirt, had no tastebuds, and a ton of money to throw around. If you enjoy bad food and entertainment, like to get drunk for a few hundred bucks and gamble away your money, then this is just the right place for you. I met people who had cruised on the same ship 8 or 10 times and I just can't believe it!!! The shows, the food, all the way down to the one and only song they have in the cigar bar, stays the same time and time again. Some people, let me tell ya!

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