Greg DeBrosse

Age: 31
Occupation: News Producer
Number of Cruises: 1
Cruise Line: Carnival
Ship: Carnival Triumph
Sailing Date: April 16th, 2005
Itinerary: Western Caribbean

Getting There: Parking at the Port of Miami for seven days is $84, cash and it’s paid up front. If you go from anywhere in Florida you can call Cruise Connection and they’ll put you on a bus for less than that. Many people came and went by Taxi.

Embarkation: Imagine if you will the line for Space Mountain just after it opened for the first time. That’s how long the line is to get on the boat. Don’t forget to pickup your keys on the other side of the x-ray machine (I left mine there).

Our room, 8422: AWESOME! Balcony had enough room for four chairs comfortably. Room had a couch and a king-sized bed.

Room service is excellent. You can order from dozens of items, including cookies and brownies. They’ll bring them to your room with a cup of coffee. In the room, they have soap, shampoo, hairdryer, toothpaste, his and her razors and dental floss (you’re going to need it).

Booze: Plentiful. We put two bottles of wine in our carry-on and no one stopped us or asked us about it. You could probably take more. On the boat the first day you can buy a refillable glass for the drink of the day. It’s $6.95 upfront and $4.00 for a refill. Drink prices range from 4 to $7.00. You are never more than 100 ft. away from a bar, waiter or waitress. We found the fastest service at the wine bar and the casino.

Bars: There are three pool bars and they all have quick service. There is a similar bar on the embarkation floor right in the middle of the ship. There is also a bar in the casino, four to five clubs, a wine bar and they serve on the first floor of the show lounge.

Drugs: Take some Dramamine even if you’re a seasoned cruiser. The motion-sickness patch you stick behind your ear was also very popular onboard. You’ll go places where Cuban cigars and other Smoking material are legal. You’re bound to smell it at some point. The ship is searched at debarkation by inspectors with dogs, so I wouldn’t advise trying to get anything off, or even using it while you’re onboard.

Food: Ugh! There is a plethora of food onboard this ship. There is a 24-hour pizza station. It’s the same stuff that spins around the circle at the gas station. The grill, had well done hamburgers, cheeseburgers and hotdogs, as well as stringy greasy French fries. The lunch and breakfast buffets in the South Beach kitchen will have pretty much the same thing everyday. The lettuce, bread and desserts start to get a little stale by day four. At the sit down dinner you can have lobster tail, some good salmon and an excellent quesadilla. The portions were small. The salads all tasted like they’d been washed in salt water. You can order as many entrees and desserts as you want. Make sure you ask for two the night they have the Baked Alaska. You won’t be able to get it on another night. They have two formal nights. If you don’t bring formal clothes, you can still go, but you may get some funny looks at first. No one will notice once you sit down.

Non-alcoholic beverages: They have a soda card for just under $40. The idea being you can refill it anytime. Well, there aren’t any soda fountains sitting around. So you have to find a bar tender every time. There are water, tea and juice dispensers out in the open and you can use them anytime. They also have coffee all day.

Tipping: Carnival lets you pay the tip upfront. That way you don’t have to worry about tipping anybody. That said, every time you buy an alcoholic drink you are charged an automatic 15% tip. Then, they’ll ask you to tip your Maitre D’. He’s the guy who stands there in a tux when you go to dinner every night. For some reason you’re supposed to tip him on the last night even though you’ve never met him. They leave you an envelope and you’re supposed to take it and give it to him on your last night as you enter the restaurant.

Excursions: The first full day at sea there is an excursion meeting where they try and explain what you can do and try and answer any questions. However, I would book at least your first excursion over the internet on Carnival’s website. The website actually has more information than is available on the boat. While on the excursion you should also expect the unexpected. For example, two of our tours dropped us off at places other than where we started. In Cozumel, we took the Chichen Itza tour. It involved first getting on a ferry that smells like hurl when you get on it and they start passing out barf bags as soon as you start moving. It was a very bouncy ride over to the mainland. Once you’re in Mexico you’re paraded about 4 blocks to a bus. The vintage 1970’s bus with 1980’s televisions poorly mounted on the ceiling, then takes you on a bouncy three-hour tour through a poverty-stricken section of Mexico. Once you finally arrive at the pyramid site, it is spectacular. You must be prepared for lots of pushy venders inside the site. They’ll sell you the shirt of your back if you let them. Then you get back on that bus, which reminds some of the night bus in Harry Potter. It zips side to side on the two-lane road to weave around traffic at what can only be described as ludicrous speed before getting you back to the pier. Then you get back on the puke ferry and ride back to Cozumel. In Cozumel the cruise ship is docked at the pier. We heard from others who tried to rent a buggie for the day on Cozumel. They had a rough time because the buggie kept dying on them at intersections.

At Grand Cayman we went on the Reef and Ray tour. Anything to stingray city looked like it was fun. It’s not something you’d ever be allowed to do in the states. You get in and feed the stingray. The guides will also put the 3-foot long creatures on your back and take pictures of you holding them. There is a tour that also takes you to Hell. It is a small unimpressive place on the island, named after a nearby rock formation. There is a place there where you can send a post card from hell.

At Grand Cayman you tender, which means you take a smaller boat from the cruise ship to get on and off the Island. It can be a little time consuming. As soon as you get to the Island there are plenty of shops to visit in walking distance. To get to seven mile beach, you will either have to sign up for the excursion or take a taxi.

At Ochos Rios Jamaica the main attraction is the hike up Dunns River Falls. Again, not something you’d be allowed to do stateside (at least not without crash helmets, life jackets and a rope). The falls move fast and you will too. Everyone holds hands, sounds scary at first, but it’s actually very helpful because you really move fast up the falls. The more tours the guides get in a day, the more tips they get. It takes 40 minutes to make it up the falls. The woman in front of me was probably in her 70’s and made it, but it was hard for her. The guides are very friendly and if you tell them ahead of time you may have a difficult time, they’ll make sure you make it, regardless of size, age or ability.

Then there is Dolphin Cove. You can swim with dolphins, stand in water with dolphins or just watch.
 
The cost for each is different. The dolphin show is then about 10 minutes. You’re not missing much if you just watch. The scenery from Dolphin Cove is breath taking.

Back on the boat there is never a dull moment. They publish a paper daily called the “Carnival Caper.” It has a list of everything you can do the next day.

The singing and dancing shows are like high school show-choirs with good props. The “Adult” magic show isn’t worth the air the performers breathe. Bingo costs you $20 for three cards, but the jacket pots can get up to a couple thousand dollars. The recreation department is always running some kind of event like the hairy chest contest and the synchronized swimming contest. They also throw nightly parties on the deck.

There is a special club for teenagers. They really seemed to enjoy it. There is also an arcade.
There are some events for singles and an entire store for those who are celebrating some kind of event, birthday, anniversary, honeymoon or wedding.

Carnival is also always taking your picture. The second night they run a special on the pictures, so wait a day, but then the special ends and it gets expensive again.

The ship has several nooks worth seeing. Go all the way to the front left of deck 6 or 8. There you can walk out the “secret door.” It takes you to the front of the ship and you can do your “King of the World” reenactment.

The exercise area of the spa has one of the most amazing views on the ship.
 
There is a topless sundeck for those looking for an all over tan. It’s well marked and sits up high, on the top floor above the running track, so you’re not suddenly surprised.

There is also an internet café, but it’s connected to a cigar bar where someone must have gotten sick repeatedly, because it stinks.

Cell Phones: It will work on the top floor of the ship the first and last nights of your trip. It will also work in Mexico and Grand Cayman but not in Jamaica. You can call out of your room, but it is expensive.

For Sale: Somebody will always be trying to sell you something on this cruise. If you don’t give in, you’ll be better off. Once you’re on board you could easily drop a couple grand, or you could spend virtually nothing.

As for my car keys, which I left at the security booth, the day I arrived, Carnival was good enough to keep them in Miami for me, when I went looking for them during Debarkation. That was seven days later.

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