jak werz

Age: 36
Occupation: Case worker
Number of Cruises: 3
Cruise Line: Carnival
Ship: Valor
Sailing Date: December  26th, 2004
Itinerary: Eastern Caribbean

My wife and I just returned from the Carnival Valor (I mean Carnival 'failures') voyage to the western Caribbean (Dec-26 to Jan 2). The weather was saddening, but that cannot be changed (it rained and was windy all week). However, how you treat people who pay good money to travel in comfort can be changed. Carnival was the worst guest service I ever experienced in a cruise line. Being told by our waiter, who was actually the only considerate staff-person on the ship, that carnival uses their best employees for new ships was a scary thought. The best of carnival seemed more like a 3 ring circus. For starters if you weren't interested in drinking to oblivion, gambling frantically or enjoying comedy that can find 1000 uses for the 'f' word, then you’re out of luck with this cruise. The nightlife was horrible. All the clubs were empty except for karaoke at Paris Hot, and of course the casino. The reason being, all the announcements were to entice people to drink or gamble. It was a classic brain-washing of "have rain, will gamble" The cruise director Josh was totally annoying with his 5-7 minute updates that we listened to 3 or 4 times a day (does carnival think its passengers are illiterate brain dead morons that can't read the daily activity sheet?) And his humor was insulting. For example on new years eve, he told the captain (in front of 3000 people) that he chose him for his midnight kiss and then tried to mock kiss him. Judging by the Captain’s body language, He wasn’t too thrilled about the joke. I'm sorry, but the captain of the ship should receive more respect than that. Speaking of New Years Eve, what would you expect for a New Years Eve party on a so-called luxury cruise ship, A big elaborate organized party?, decorations?, maybe even formal wear? Not carnival. Our New Years Eve party consisted of 3000 people gathered on the lido deck by poolside, given champagne for a toast, as we watched the ball drop on Dick Clarks rocking New Years Eve on a big screen (commercials and all). That’s it. No decorations, no big-well-planned event by any means.

We paid nearly 4000 dollars to watch a TV program we could of seen at home…for free. And also, if you book an excursion on your own and not through carnival...forget about it. Unselfishly speaking, I do expect that people whom book excursions through carnival have priority and get off the boat in time, but how they treat people who didn't book through carnival is completely unacceptable. The day before we arrived in Belize, which was a tender port, we received a notice in our stateroom that outlined: ‘if you do not have a booked tour with carnival, you have to get a tender ticket at 915 am and cannot leave the boat without staff escorts and your tender ticket'. So my wife called guest services and explained our situation. We had a 10am excursion booked and needed to get off as soon as possible. Guest services said because we didn't book through carnival, we must get a tender ticket and to arrive at the theatre at 915am to get one. We were told that they will not handout any tickets until 915am and for us to get there a little earlier to be one of the first in line. Despite the surprise, we felt it sounded fair enough. So the next day we head down at 830am to be a 45 minutes early. And to our surprise they already handed out over 400 tickets and we were told that they decided to start at 800 instead of 915. So we explained our situation again and told the staff what guest services had told us. Their response was "can't help you". When we asked, “why did you hand them out earlier than 9:15am?” They rudely said, "sorry, can't help you". Our number indicated that we would not be able to get off for 1 1/2 to 2 hours, putting us on land around 11am or so. Luckily for us our guide did wait, but hurried us through the excursion so he could get back in time for his pm tours. Big bummer. We were also delayed port in Grand Cayman due to big surf (this happens sometimes, no big deal) and Josh announced that all stingray tours were cancelled due to the weather (this also happens sometimes, again, no big deal). We did however book this excursion through carnival, so we thought, "aaah maybe we can still get off the boat as originally scheduled" Not Carnival. Since we had our tour cancelled, we needed yet more tender tickets (no empathy here). You already know how that went. We arrived at Grand Cayman at 1030am, a 1 1/2 later than normal. And we were still scheduled to leave at 300pm. Even though we were late to arrive, they didn't even consider staying a little later.

Our next port was only 100 miles away and could be made easily by the next morning, but we still left at 3pm. The last tender was scheduled at 245pm. So needless to say, by the time we got off the boat with our tender ticket, we needed to be back on the ship in 3 hours. Nice job carnival. But with all tragedies, you can find some good. On the plus side, the ship was very nice, (it didn't really look brand new, but it was nice). Our stewardess was fantastic and dining staff "Ovie" was awesome. Also the 80’s show was very well presented and enjoyable, (the break-dancers were very talented). However...Josh the cruise director was insulting, guest services were the worst ever and the food was continually the same day after day in Rosie’s Restaurant. The adult comedy was not necessary and Josh's dirty jokes and comments were made with kids present (he would tell the parents to cover the kids ears prior to saying something obscene). But the worst part of the cruise was yet to arrive. Debarkation. We were called to leave the ship in plenty of time to catch our flight (around 1030am) our flight left at 210pm. However, when we headed to customs, we waited over 1 1/2 hours for them to set up. And an additional hour waiting for a bus, since carnival never thought about how to get three thousand people home. We made the airport just in time for our flight, but several people on our bus didn't. Sad,sad,sad. I would never go carnival again. My wife and I cruise a lot, but never again with carnival.

Their attitude is; ‘we got your money, that's all folks!’ I think it is safe to say that I would rather travel from New Jersey to the Caribbean in a wooden dingy that leaks and eat only stale ham sandwiches the whole journey then to spend one day in a port where I can even see a carnival ship docked. Nuff said!