Andy Vale
Age: 48
Occupation: Film Editor/Composer
Number of Cruises: 1
Date of Cruise: August 6th, 2006
I
have just returned from my first cruise, a week on Carnival's Elation out of
Miami to Half Moon Cay Bahama's, St Thomas US Virgin Islands, San Juan Puerto
Rico and Grand Turk BWI.
This review is written from the perspective of a well-traveled, rather insular,
somewhat cynical Londoner, traveling with my teacher wife, daughter age 12 and
twin sons age 10. Hopefully you will see past the irony and glean something
useful from it.
We picked this cruise primarily because of the dates, departure port and
attractive destinations. We also hoped it might be free of other Brits (we live
in fear of the British abroad), which it was. We opted for a large cabin because
it would occupy all 5 of us and then thought 'what the hell - let's go for it'
and got one with a private balcony. Having got the Brits out the way, this last
thought was a defensive measure by very conservative, first-time cruisers
against being over-run by thousands of loud Americans, especially kids. Let me
say straightaway that in fact the Americans, young and old, turned out to be an
absolute joy and one could not imagine a more perfect set of fellow shipmates.
In fact there were few kids on board I think due to the dates being close to the
new Florida semester and also the fact that, at least on this cruise, the
customers seemed quite interested in gambling and shopping. There was no
evidence of alcohol abuse, at least not during our waking hours.
Having booked the large cabin, its status as a category 11 or 12 gave us
priority check-in which was great as we sped through the security and other
formalities. I thought that this experience paid back much of the extra cost
straight away. This was about the limit of the benefits although I was offered
priority disembarkation by a very helpful assistant purser on account of the
aviation terrorist threat to and from the UK and its potential to disrupt our
journey home.
Our cabin was amazing and the ship overall I thought incredible, other than the
rather gaudy decor, a blend of mauves, purples, greens and dark woods. The
Atrium which extended over 6 floors was truly breathtaking. Also the way the
ship quietly and smoothly handled the moderate swell we experienced towards the
southern extremes of our trip with barely any pitch or roll greatly impressed
this experienced yachtsman, albeit one who has thrown up on a few Channel
ferries. I'm sure experienced cruisers would say 'that's nothing when compared
to newer, bigger ships, (in St Thomas we berthed next to 'Mariner of the Seas'
which made Elation look like one of the aforementioned ferries).
I did though start to get worried by the crew's use of the term 'fun ship'
whenever referring to the liner. This brought echoes of British holiday camps of
the 50s - I immediately started to question what qualifications the staff might
have to make a boring fart like me have fun. We really didn't anticipate relying
on any organized activities in order to get what we wanted from the trip and
were worried about being cajoled. We wanted to keep ourselves to ourselves and
maybe we put out negative vibes about being sat with other people at dinner as
that didn't end up happening, or maybe it was the behavior of my kids on the
first night. In any event we were relieved, we're not very good with the 'SHF'
thing ('Special Holiday Friends' we call them, the ones you exchange numbers
with, swear undying love to but then never call).
My concerns about the 'fun ship' culture grew as the Maitre D' announced that he
would be performing for us during our dinner each night. Err...the Maitre D' ??
This brings me on to my major complaint of the trip.
For my wife and I, the evening meal was expected to be our main event of the
day, one to be savored and enjoyed at leisure. I got increasingly frustrated as
the week wore on at the pace of service. It was as if the meal was a race and I
swear we won every night. Along with the American habit of whipping away your
plate before the last mouthful has gone down, regardless of one's eating
partners progress, as soon as one course was finished the next was there. There
was no time to savor what was pretty good food and wine. This rushed meal
preceded the 'show' which consisted of the waiters and some guests dancing for a
few minutes 'Macarena-style' between the tables. You can imagine what this
cynical Brit made of that especially when feeling aggrieved at the pace of what
went before.
Then on night 5 I finally flipped, letting my good-natured and attentive waiter
have it big time. What triggered this was tiredness, a few drinks earlier and
him, not for the first time, pouring out my previous evening's left-over wine
before I had chosen my meal thereby making the all-important wine decision for
me. He took my tirade well and explained that this was how American's liked
their service. He told me that Brits were rare on the ship and that he would
slow down for us in the future, and he did. Funny enough the incident broke the
ice with him and we got on well after that even if it did mean he was not always
free to participate fully in the 'show' . I suspect his and his team's
enthusiasm for fully taking part in the 'show' was the background to the
problem.
The resolution of this problem had the effect of relaxing me and coincided with
the kids becoming more independent and forming friendships. They had a good time
at 'Camp Carnival' though they thought the Camp crew lacked control sometimes.
(Funny hearing your kids complaining about a lack of control!!) Their comment
rings true with my impression of some of the staff being willing but lacking
communication skills. My wife and I were at times annoyed that certain
activities were nominated as 'family activities' which usually involved extra
payment which was alright but then being obliged to stick around for the
duration which was not alright, for instance 'Making the Teddy Bear'. We were
also annoyed by the requirement to pay $54 for all 3 kids to be cared for
between 10pm to 3am when we only needed childcare till 11pm, so we declined that
offer.
As the week passed, despite the ubiquitous photographers following my every move
(I swear they stole my soul over the course of the week) and the offer to sell
me my amazing Carnival cabin bed (come on, I'd have slept on a bed of nails
given the motion and the sea air), my cynicism about the influence of the
Carnival corporate machine slowly broke down and I started to be won over by the
friendliness and efficiency of the crew and a general admiration for how
well-run the ship was. I even started to visit some of the shows (including the
'Talent Show' and 'Elation-Idol'). The 'cruise director' was MD at most of the
theatre shows and was genuinely funny and that made the difference. The
generous-nature of our American shipmates became apparent at these shows and I
ended up wishing I'd made the more effort earlier in the cruise.
Music on the ship was mixed. Some of the musicians scattered about the ship had
no right being there they were so poor. And like poor musicians everywhere they
played too loud. The poolside music was unbearable. The house band (for the
shows) was good although it appeared to be missing a trumpet (knowing brass
players, he no doubt got very drunk in Miami the night before the ship sailed
and missed the gig!) The formal big show (I suspect this show is common to all
the Carnival cruises this season) was only OK, the music and chorus were
pre-recorded, the house band mimed and badly so, the bored drummer playing along
so off the beat that it threw the (under-rehearsed) dancers and the 2 excellent
production singers out-of-time. The Music Director sneaked back and told him to
quiet down. Oh, I laughed! The sets and costumes were excellent though.
The destinations were varied. Half Moon Cay is owned by Carnival. It was
reminiscent of the low tech bits of Disneyland, a bit manufactured. You couldn't
see a wooden bench without a sign saying something like 'Sit and Chill' which
raised my heckles slightly as I have had some experience with seats and know how
to use them. But the bathing was wonderful and the ship looked great. The tender
business from and to the ship wasn't too bad and was only required once on the
cruise. My family tried the 'Stingray Experience' excursion which involved
swimming with and feeding Stingrays. About 50 were trapped in a netted off area
of a lagoon, not very ecologically sound I suspect. My wife and kids were
terrified as the rays slithered around their legs and they barely got wet. But I
went for it and rather enjoyed the experience of snorkeling with these beautiful
and apparently harmless creatures.
St Thomas seemed all about shopping. If you are in the market for a new quality
watch I suggest working out and pricing exactly what you want in the UK before
the trip (with and without VAT) and then haggling like mad on St Thomas. I got
the impression the approved shops and products were bona fide and that savings
of maybe 25% on UK pre-duty and VAT prices on Omega watches might be possible.
St Juan had a tired feel about it. The ship was only there for a few hours. We
spent most of those trying to find somewhere to eat and get a drink.
I thought Grand Turk had little to offer though I'd recommend the snorkeling.
Although there is little live coral there are some lovely colorful and friendly
fish. There is good bathing too around the newly developed Carnival 'resort' at
the southern tip of the island. The ship ties up at a quay and the walk is only
a few hundred yards to the beach, complex and inevitable shops.
Tipping on board is done in accordance with the practice within the rest of the
industry. I really should have delved into the tipping thing more deeply, and
customized it to our particular circumstances. Apparently the bulk of our
(more-or-less compulsory) daily $10-each gratuity went to the 'formal'
restaurant waiting staff despite my kids not attending most meals (preferring to
do their own thing, eating elsewhere on the ship). I would have preferred to
bias this tip towards the stewards who were good, and give some to the pursers
and other crew. Of course I could have done this if I had the time and energy on
the final day but after 3 weeks in the U.S. I was pretty well 'tipped-out' (in
the U.K. gratuities are the tip, in the U.S. it sometimes feels that they are
the iceberg!) It would have been interesting to know to what extent each part of
the crew rely on gratuities.
Regarding the private balcony, it was great and negated any feeling of
claustrophobia. We thought it very worthwhile except when it got a bit choppy
for a couple of days, the spray made it unusable. So I would suggest caution if
contemplating booking a balcony room on an Eastern Caribbean cruise though I
understand that the Western Caribbean tends to be calmer.
I was thrilled that there was wireless internet access from my cabin (possibly
due to proximity to the Internet Cafe so this might not apply to all cabins
regardless of category). It costs up to 75c a minute and is fairly slow (I
estimate 40Kb/sec). TV is good with CNN and a few other channels, though the
on-ship movie channels were unwatchable due to poor picture quality, and there
are about 6 channels promoting Carnival or showing highlights of the day's
action full of happy smiling faces (of course). They sell compilations on DVD of
these daily video logs on the final day of the cruise. Impressive really. You
can remind yourself of all those 'Special Holiday Friends'.
Would I recommend Carnival? For some of my friends, yes. But personally, when I
cruise again (and I think I will someday), I'll not be choosing a 'fun ship' but
something more formal, just to see the difference. But then, who knows, maybe my
3rd cruise will be back on Carnival.