Michael Parrish

Age: 39
Occupation: Telecommunications Mgr.
Number of Cruises: 2
Cruise Line: Carnival
Ship: Paradise
Sailing Date: September 7th, 2003
Itinerary: Western Caribbean

My wife and I sailed the Paradise for our second time on September 7th. Our anniversary is the sixth of September and since we so enjoyed our first cruise with Carnival the previous year on the Paradise, we decided to sail her again for 'once more around the Western Caribbean.' We are both non-smokers, so the Paradise was a big draw for us. We have never sailed a 'smoking' ship prior, so my review may be a bit skewed, but know that going in. We arrived via Miami International airport on US Air at 12:50 and gathered our luggage.

As part of the 'worry-free' AAA planning in 2002, we had used the shuttle service from the airport to the pier. This year, Debbi and I (along with my brother and sister-in-law who were on their first cruise) had opted to decide what was cheapest when we got to the airport. Upon gathering the luggage, we were going to go to the Gray Lines (Carnival's) shuttle service to the pier, but a kindly Carnival employee in the staging area let us know a cab would be radically cheaper. It would've been $11/pp each way from airport to pier and back or $44/couple roundtrip, but with the employee's info we hired a cab-van for the standard fare of only $18 each way total for up to four passengers. A tidy savings.

Embarkation: This was a breeze, much the same as before. The agents at check-in were extremely efficient and friendly. Remember to have your paperwork (Birth cert. etc) handy to speed the process up, and the four of us were on the boat in short order. Well I should say stopped for one of the many, many photo ops and then were on the ship. We immediately went to the Excursions information area in the Atrium and began signing up for what we hoped would be some exciting Caribbean fun. We weren't off in our hopes. The life boat drill was also, much quicker than last year. We speculated that we got an abbreviated version as it was lightly raining prior to departure and they probably wanted to save themselves a load of grouchy soggy passengers. The previous year had us standing out in the blistering heat (well it felt sweltering if you're stupid enough to wear dockers and a knit polo like I did...live and learn, it was cold when we left Ohio) for approximately half an hour with the life jackets adding to the heat while people milled about refusing to line up and adding to the drill time. This time, in and out of the muster area in minutes. We were underway!

The Ship: Paradise is a beautiful ship. I loved the wood and faberge' egg design of the ship. Both couples had problems in the bath room with mystery odors from day one, but I believe it was the plumbing that was the culprit. Keeping the door closed to the bathroom, solved the smell problem. I was comfortable with the ship generally, and our room specifically, cleanliness wise and I'm quite the germ-phobe.

Dining: The four of us had chosen late seating as we had left our kids at home and planned for later evenings. We were in the Destiny dining room (table 244), and had Domingo and Milo as waiter and assistant waiter respectively. The table was a six-seater and the four of us had the luxury of two great dinner companions who became fast friends (Hey Kurt and Angie!) We had a bit of confusion up front as Milo's nametag said "Milo" but when we called for Domingo on occasion, he'd answer. Apparently, his first name was also Domingo and went by Milo (his surname) to avoid confusion...given the situation described, I don't know how much confusion it avoided or added to, but Milo was great. Domingo was an efficient, but not overly social waiter. Debbi watched him berate some female waitstaff person for dropping something, but when he was 'on stage' at the tableside he was very pleasant. Milo on the other hand was what we had come to expect from the dining room staff and was always 'on' - entertaining, laughing, chastising us for trying to watch what we ate, etc. He was a riot and really made dining in the Destiny a treat each night.

Food: In this area, I felt Carnival shined. We had been spoiled rotten by the chefs on the Paradise the year prior, and this year did nothing to bring us back down to earth. As my wife will attest, I could eat chicken for 3 meals a day, and would be perfectly happy if I never saw a steak as a consequence. If it's any kind of barometer for the chef's skill level during the cruise, I ate Filet Mignon (two actually), Prime Rib, Chateau Briand, and so much other red meat that I probably should go see a cardiologist. The food outside of the Destiny was quite good too. I visited the 24/7 pizzeria a few times that week and had my first Carnival calzone this time around. From what I could tell, the calzones were made upon request and when I returned 10 minutes later (per instruction from the attendant) I received a piping hot fresh calzone that was delicious. I do have to remark that the other all-day/every-day available item most people discuss is the soft-serve ice cream and yogurt. Debbi enjoyed it, but it's pumped out of the dispenser full of ice crystals, and though I realize that the volume of ice cream needed by guests, it's probably a valid side effect of the fast freezing process, I prefer the smooth and creamy soft-serve from a local mom-and-pop shop. Not a big complaint, as I never went hungry all week. The hamburgers served daily at the poolside Lido service area are the best hamburgers you can find, so if you're a fan of a great cheeseburger, do yourself a favor and skip lunch in the Paris (casual dining) or one of the formal dining rooms and make your way to the grill at least once during the week. Trust me, you'll thank me later.

Excursions: Seemed to have gone up somewhat from what we remember last year. We chose the Western itinerary a second time, since last time there simply wasn't enough time to get all the fun stuff done in each port. Some of the excursions (namely anything with "Dolphin" in the title) is radically overpriced, but I suppose that value is relative. My wife and I are divers, but I choked at $199/pp to scuba dive for 2 hours in an area that had a chance to see dolphins, no matter how badly I would've loved the interaction with marine wildlife. Never had a bad value from a Carnival excursion though, and this time was no different. I'll touch on the actual excursion in the port description. One thing of note, that I wish Carnival would change. Early on in planning, Carnival reps faxed me a complete list of official excursions available at each port, just like they had the previous year. I was very disappointed to find out that Carnival had opted to remove the prices from each entry, as my wife and I were trying to estimate expenses. I was told that I could look through the catalog and pick the things that interested me and if I wanted to, I could call and get the individual prices of those excursions. This was a complete hassle to accomplish for four people (as I helped with my brother and his wife's research too), all to alleviate 'price shopping for alternate excursion options' which is - I assume - what Carnival was trying to prevent. Some of the prices DID cause sticker shock, but the inconvenience of having to call back every time was annoying.

Ports of Call:
Belize: One word: Beautiful. Belize City was gorgeous. We opted for the Cave Tubing excursion and rocked (literally) down the road to a remote location where we were given innertubes and the option to rent watershoes (take them or rent them, trust me). We then took off for approximately 2 miles into the rainforest with an informative guide from the local host company who filled us in on the flora and fauna as we trekked. We entered the cave, jumped in the water and began a very fascinating adventure down-river. I tipped over once getting oriented, but no real drama there. Each couple shares a miner style head-light to see the sites. Occasionally the cave wall would open to large holes in its side and reveal the lush rainforest and bright sunlight. It was gorgeous. After the tubing was over, we went to a small cantina called Cheers ("with a Tropical Twist" the sign proclaimed) for some complimentary stewed chicken and beans and rice. Staples of the Belize diet, and quite good. We were asked twice if we'd like to purchase local clocks/pictures, etc. but were left alone when we declined.

Isla Roatan: In all fairness, all we saw was from the Lido deck. Debbi and I opted to stay aboard the ship that day and as a surprise I scheduled a daily special "Stressbuster" massage and facial for her in the Spa. We just relaxed and enjoyed the quiet of having the ship (sort of) to ourselves. My brother and his wife went ashore, and commented on the poverty level and that the people did come up quite often trying to sell them things or beg them to come into shops. Didn't see any of it first-hand, but I had read similar online, so it was good enough for me. Brother and sister-in-law had gotten discounted massages that morning prior to going ashore and they were so relaxed they nearly had to be wheeled into port. If you're interested in getting a spa treatment, by all means schedule during a port day. The prices on things are substantially lower and you can use the savings towards something else or just put it in your pocket.

Georgetown, Grand Cayman: Debbi and I fell in love with the Cayman Islands in 2002 during our Paradise cruise, and are giving serious thought to flying there for a full week in the future. Of all the stops, this one is by far the most aesthetic. The people who live on the island are friendly (it's more than just the vendors trying to peddle stuff to you), and it's just an all-around good time. For an excursion here, we did the Reef and Wreck Snorkel. It wasn't that expensive ($39/pp) and involved going just offshore a short distance to a small coral area and then a slight hop (almost literally) to a sunken tanker. Both areas teemed with marine life and the guides were great fun. One of guides swam over and asked to if we'd like some pictures of Debbi and I with the Paradise quite close in the background taken with our underwater camera. It's a stunning picture that we'll treasure. It did rain quite intensely for all of 10 minutes when we were just getting back on land, but that was it. We were done early enough to do some serious shopping - something that we didn't have time to do last time after the Stingray City/Hell/Turtle Farm tour. We left a chunk of our money with the Caymans, but got a lot of nice souvenirs and met quite a few nice folks that lived there.

Cozumel: The pier area had been upgraded since last time we visited and we were pleased. We did a bit of shopping in the duty-free shops (namely a nice Chess set for my oldest son), and then waited for our Horseback riding excursion to begin at 2:30. As with most Carnival excursions, the guides were quite nice, but the catalog talked about riding through some ruins along the way. Nearly everyone in our group (the four of us and several people we met on the bus) seemed to believe the ruins looked pretty 'staged' and made from modern tech and placed there. Regardless, the horseback riding and the jungle scenery, mixed with the history lesson (faux ruins or not) was quite good. Afterwards, we were taken to a cantina for all the Coronas or sodas we could drink and then it was back to the ship.

Carnival Staff: Again, Carnival really seems to shine when it comes to staff. We ran into several 'off-duty' staff onshore during the week (including both Domingo and Milo) and even during their time-off they all were as friendly as ever. I never saw anyone the whole week who wasn't busy all the time, cleaning, polishing, scrubbing - even during port days I saw them sanding and varnishing the less-busy parts of the decks. Our cabin steward was phenomenal and I bumped his tip accordingly. Carnival gave out the old Inaugural albums from the launch of the Paradise, during our week at sea. Our room didn't have one, but the steward managed to find us a shiny new copy and lay it on the bed during turn-down one evening. Again, nobody less than Average in my eyes and most Far Above. Milo made our dining experience, but I sorely missed Shiva (from India) and Enrique (from the Philippines), our waiter and asst. respectively from 2002.

Casino/Bars: Didn't get to hit the casino as planned. I've become quite addicted to the Travel Channel's World Poker Tournament and thought to go and lose some money trying my hand (no pun intended) at Texas Hold'em some evening, but the two times I had plans to go, the other three had alternative plans, so no idea how they played out this year. One note, the smoke-free environment of the Paradise makes spending any length of time in the casino bearable for someone with poor lungs like me, but it also means that often times it seems like you're the only one in the place. Same for the USA Lounge and other 'bars' on board. I was quite disappointed in that all the karaoke was scheduled for midday on this cruise. One of the highlights last year was late-night karaoke and all the inebriated guests imitating Sinatras and the actual talented folk too....quite entertaining for teetotalers.

Shows: "Shout" was the same show as last year. The comedians of the week were quite good as well. I went to my first midnight comedy show (uncensored) and had a great time.

Cruise Director: The CD Jeff Bronson was probably the weak spot of the trip. He and his staff were not nearly as good as the cruise entertainment staff we had last year. Last year, Josh (last name escapes me) was our CD and he was gut-busting funny all week long and such a natural at his job. This year, Jeff was often struggling at every hosting gig he had and often looked somewhat uncomfortable. His jokes were all grade-school level and groaners. The events I attended (Trivia, Newlywed/Not-so-newlywed Game, etc.) were fun, but only because the games themselves were fun and not due to Jeff, Karl "with a K" or the other lackluster entertainment staff.

Suggestions: I do wish Carnival would consider having someone police the funnel deck occasionally - move a drink stand by each entrance, towel rental, some kind of employee to discourage problems. The funnel is top optional/Adults only and my wife and I spent much of our sun time up there since it's quiet and we could read without pool traffic or chatter. It is 'optional' and she didn't always exercise her option, but the problem remains. During the week we had to literally deal with 10+ people who were brazenly waving cameras about and probably just as many young children. Both are clearly prohibited on the signage, but for both cruises it's been me that had to chase the people off, not Carnival. Another thing that stood out from last year is the doubling of photo ops. Carnival must have a lot of people buy those pictures, as I was ambushed much more often than the previous outing by pirates and other scenarios to have my picture taken. I do wish that situation was isolated to a section that could be circumvented and not hold others (like me) up that don't want pictures taken. Lastly, put the prices back on the excursion guide. You may lose a few people to sticker-shock but it makes planning/budgeting a whole lot easier for your guests.

Synopsis: All in all, you have to say a vacation is good when you don't even realize it's over until halfway on the drive to work on the following Monday. Carnival gets a bad rap by some of the other 'snobs' that cruise some of the other lines, but I think the line itself and Paradise in particular goes out of their way to make it the most fun money value I've ever spent. Carnival and Captain Vito Gerrucio run a tight ship and you'll have a load of fun. What are you waiting for, call and get on board!