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Family Friendliness
Shore Excursions
Paul Jankowski

Age: 52


Number of Cruises: 6

Cruise Line: Celebrity

Ship: Constellation

Sailing Date: 2009-05-16

Itinerary: Harwich -- St Petersburg

This cruise was a very poor value for the money. I would characterize the ship as very unfriendly with very poor service. For example, when the ice was out at the drink station, I mentioned it to staff (who were standing around talking between themselves) and I was told to go to the other end of the ship. The public bathrooms often smelled of urine though they also had flowers and nice hand towels. Perhaps they should try flowers with a stronger scent.

The food was very poor. The beef was particularly bad. The main entree choices were so poor that I often had to default to the "Always Available" shoe leather new york strip steak. When my wife ordered lobster, she was saddened that it came covered with a goopy sauce.

The buffets were absolutely insane. The flow of traffic is poorly designed such that you necessarily must walk into other guests. Frankly, I weigh only 270 lbs and I wasn't ready to take-on the typical Japanese woman when it comes to elbow-throwing. If you are not sure-footed, I would suggest you avoid this ship altogether.

I thought our cheapie room (no window and no balcony) was very nice. It was large and had the biggest shower I have ever seen on a ship. The water was hotter than any ship I have experienced, but the water pressure was abysmal. I know I am spoiled, but rinsing your hair with a drip is not my idea of a nice experience. The pillows were awful, unless you are comfortable sleeping with your head on a log.

Our plumbing made constant noise. It sounded as if a plastic bottle was in the pipe. It rattled constantly! We called for plumbing, but as we came to expect, the service was non-existant.

Our room attendant was excellent. Always a warm "Good Morning" and always a smile.

As for the activities; what activities? The usual trivia, Pictionary, etc., were infrequent, and when they did occur, they would be completely over in 15-20 minutes.

The "shows" were the worst I have ever seen. The "special guests" were crap. Dave Evans, the comic, was apparently good as many of the Brits had hardy laughs. We, and those from most other countries, left the performance since we could not understand his "English". The singers need to be released from their contracts, while the dancers were above average. I apologize for insensitivity, but I think performers need to be in shape. The singers all looked like they came to the show after emptying the buffet. The right to become fat comes only AFTER stardom. The bottomline is this (something I have never seen before): the theatre usually had fewer than half the seats full during performances.

AVOID the ship excursions in St. Petersburg. Use an independent agency (We used Denrus). Our excursion was less than half the price, yet we were walking alongside the folks with the ship excursion stickers on their shirts.

I DID take the opportunity to speak with the Manager of Guest Relations while on the cruise. When I told him I would write the company to explain my issues, he stupidly drew a line in the sand and said (paraphrasing) what you have to do. I get angry guests in here all the time who tell me they will write and won't be back. I never hear of a letter and I see them on the next 10 cruises. Well ALEX, you deserve to lose your job and I will make sure your President understands my views.


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