Benjamin Smith

age 43
Occupation: editorial quality control
Number of Cruises: 7
Cruise Line: Celebrity
Name of Ship: Constellation
Sailing Date: Dec. 7, 2002
Itinerary: Southern Caribbean

This is the second cruise my wife and I did with the Viking Group. This one was Dec 7-14 on the Celebrity Constellation. Some of the ports we visited were St. Lucia, Barbados, St. Thomas, Antigua.

Precruise. Just have to mention staying at the Radisson Ambassador in Puerto Rico. For a purported upscale hotel, and though the hotel had polite service from what we experienced, the room we stayed in was one the dirtiest rooms that I've been in. The carpets were filthy and the whole room was dusty. Had a free drink having sailed with the Viking Group and I chose a screwdriver but could not drink it because it was made with some sort of powdered orange juice. Can't recommend this hotel, not at all. Hopefully it isn't always in this state.

Embarkation: Puerto Rico. Not sure what part of the pier it was but there was a long, fast-moving line outside going into a building. It was sort of a pain dealing with it with all of the luggage we had. Captain's Club (CC) members had to wait in this line until we got inside the building and then, after filling in the forms, we got priority boarding. I think CC members should have not had to wait in the line.

Onto the ship:
Fairly positive first impressions. It was new and had a high quality look to it, furnishings looked expensive. We were escorted to the room by a white gloved attendant who knew where he was going. Impressions of the ship crew was very positive. We were greeted with a lot of "how are you today" "thanks for visiting us and enjoy your day" "I hope everything is OK with your order" type of comments. The ship is noticeably clean. Our stateroom was the usual Celebrity stateroom, an inside job, we really aren't that particular about staterooms, and it was clean and kept that way during our cruise.

Lido: usual Celebrity structure with the four areas to get the food. Trays with linen and silverware are handed to us, and waiters and assistants served the food and wore gloves. Food was very good, excellent selection of fruits, salads, meats and vegetables and desserts. Buffet food was, for the most part, uniformly tasty and well prepared with items like salmon and crepes throughout the whole cruise. There's an omelet station and a pasta station and there's a small area in back that had theme food, a different theme per day. Every day, including the day of disembarkation, waiters lined up to carry trays for women and children, and they offered sometimes for men as well.

We meet Granville: It is in the lido that we finally meet Granville Baily. I first saw Granville on a show made about the intro of the Galaxy to Florida that profiled the Captain, at the time Capt. Korras, a lounge singer Jane Alexander, social hostess Amanda, and Granville, a bar server. His warmness, sense of humor, friendly interaction with people and making them feel comfortable, were apparent in the show and we felt great to get him on this cruise. He lived up to billing, and our group specially requested he serve us, that he was our "booze doctor" in the dining room, for the duration of the cruise. His shooters were great, especially one called "Skip and go Naked".

Something's missing: It didn't take long to see that we weren't going to get some of the things we got on previous Celebrity cruises. On the second day we noticed that there was no aft-located lounge. There are two lounges that offer dance floors on the Millennium class ships, the Rendezvous and Revelations. Those familiar with the Rendezvous know that it is the lounge that is placed forward of the dining room and usually features a duo performing, and that it has a dance floor. Revelations is the Millie's version of the forward observation lounge with huge windows and panoramic views and has a disco area in the back of it, usually portioned off. However, the Millie ships don't have portioned off areas, so this is one big room, with some circular areas that have a bar and a piano, has very slight tiering that goes from the outside in, has chairs of 3 styles in 3 colors in the 3 not so very well-defined areas, and a pretty large dance floor in the center. What's missing? The aft-located lounge. The lounge where people who want to dance to big band music or listen to the Celebrity orchestra can get together. It is the Savoy on the Galaxy, the Pavilion on the Mercury, the Rainbow Room on the Zenith, the Crystal Room on Century and the Zodiac on the Horizon. It is the place where my wife and I have had some of our most wonderful moments on our 2 Celebrity cruises. It is the place having the most "period" ambiance, and a place of arrival. Since it is aft, there is no pass-through sense, and areas are well portioned off and the feeling is intimate. It is, essentially, not only a lounge, but a small club, and small club atmosphere. In fact, it feels to me like a ballroom, popular during the 20s through early 50s. It is the place where we met ship friends on the Century. What do the Millie class have instead? They have an area that is very similar in layout to the Rendezvous, but with higher level appointments, and no dance floor in the middle but a cutout to look down on the Rendezvous and for its music to filter up into the area, and two bars on either side at the back of the "lounge". It, in essence, feels like the upper level of the Rendezvous, it can not be an independent space with independent ambiance, music as it is connected to the Rendezvous by music and by the hole in the floor. Can you get from one to the other if suddenly you are upstairs in the Martini/Champagne area and want to dance? OK, theoretically one could go over the railing and jump down to it, but if you want the preferred and less painful way of going you exit the Martini/Champagne bar "lounge", go down the aft staircase, and enter the Rendezvous lounge to dance..Somehow, I don't find this an optimal solution and think since the two spaces are connected then a staircase should connect them.

Millie class doesn't follow Celebrity precedents: ship to ship, Celebrity has always modified and improved upon previous ships with their successive ships. The Zenith is about 1000 tons bigger than the Horizon and improved the observation lounge's bar area. But, some significant improvements went from the Century to Galaxy. Some of these are an added foyer placed in front of the restaurant facilitating an easy way to get to both levels of the restaurant and adding a meet and mingle area; adding of overhang areas in the lido area effectively widening the lido; addition of an aft located pool under sliding glass replacing the very underutilized Sky Bar. Mercury improved on Galaxy with signage, relocating the champagne bar, and making the observation lounge and other areas more handicap accessible replacing steps with ramps. The Millie class makes less extensive improvements, but didn't change any of the dimensions of the ship and have what I feel are glaring shortcomings and the list are:
no way to go from the 2nd to 3rd floor of the foyer without leaving it. Cova is on the 3rd level of the foyer. (not easily fixable)
library has no writing tables and furniture is oversized (easily fixable)
dining room's wings are too long before getting to the main section (not easily fixable)
too many shops (not easily fixable)
placement of conservatory: a quiet, fragrant oasis. Right near the pool and above the lido? I think not. On Infinity to Constellation this is the place for it. Doesn't seem optimal to me. I think Millie actually placed it into a better space for this purpose in one of the forward glass towers.

Better on the Century class: thellasotherapy pool was an intimate space on the Century class, peaceful, quiet, exclusive feeling and the fee was fairly nominal. Millie has it as an open area. It has loss its feeling of peacefulness and exclusivity.

Lounges: the key to so many spaces is how they are portioned off. Tricks for creating intimacy is in creating small areas including groupings and tools are chairs and tables of various sizes and shapes, also used for separators and quite stylish can be railings, different flooring can designate different areas, different lighting as well, and a very good tool to separate spaces is putting the sections on different levels. Celebrity did a fine job of this in the Century class. Not so well in the Millie class. Martini/Champagne whole area is on the same level, flooring doesn't separate it, the same sort of chairs are used in most of the area. There's only 2 highback couches per side, stylish, could use more IMO, and the whole room sort of looks like a hallway with chairs on the side and in the middle of it. The Rendezvous isn't as bad, the outer areas are circular and higher than the middle area with the dance floor. The observation lounge has the same problem as the Martini/Champagne bar area. It is one huge room and not really portioned off. There are slight differences in the heights of the areas but it really isn't well defined. On the Galaxy the 2 levels of the Stratosphere are very well defined and the disco is in the back, and a small area near the bar that feels intimate. The Mercury also has plenty of different sections in her Navigator Club. But the Millie ships, all pretty much the same old observation lounge, have a very open disco and no matter where you sit you feel like you are in a huge room. The seats are different in style in the 3 areas, but that's just not as much as what you get in the Century ships

Restaurant: two long wings on either side have plenty of tables for those seated in the restaurant. They seem away from the main restaurant. This is just not a design that I find well thought out.

Space utilization: for some reason the Millie ships have a lot of meeting areas near their cinema. For the most part they won't be used much on sailings. So why? Why only 2 dance floors on a 91,000 ton ship, on a line that's supposed to be more romantic than fun?

The area around Michael's Club. Michael's is too big, doesn't feel intimate but feels like a large room in a house. Then there's a lot of area in this rather RCI styled photo gallery. Seems this could have been put to better use.

Why is shore excursion area so large?

Promenade deck: it doesn't wrap around the back of the ship like the Century ships. Also, though cleaned fairly often, the light non-skid surface on this ship takes on a soiled appearance. I don't like it on the Century ships as I find it tends to look soiled, but at least Century ships don't use it on the promenade. I don't buy the non-skid safety argument either. Teak is grippy enough, especially if one wears boat shoes. HAL and Carnival provide teak here, Princess questionable appearing fake teak, Celebrity is premium, teak is nicer, IMO. And on RCI ships the promenade deck wraps around the back, why not on Celebrity ships? In fact, on RCI, the promenade deck completely encircles the ship, as they do on Princess and HAL. Don't let the cruise lines get away with getting rid of this aspect of cruising, use them or not, ships should provide promenade decks that encircle the ship.

Is Millie class really designed to be a Celebrity ship and facilitate a Celebrity cruise? I don't think it is, I think it is forced to.

Getting back to the thellasotherapy pool this area reminds me a lot of something I've seen before. The Solarium on the Explorer of the Seas. Different theming and decor but in a similar spot and a similar sort of blueprint. That's telling me that Celebrity had to use this space and thought a bigger, free, thellasotherapy pool would be a good idea. Well, it wasn't. Celebrity had the place overrun with kids and crowded. So, they tried charging for it to make it less crowded and feeling more intimate. But, that did not go over well which led to a sort of embarrassing apology and Celebrity admitting they made a mistake.

Galley below the restaurant!!! Some folks that know Celebrity personnel know that some wait staff hate the new ships due to this feature. These poor men and women have to go down high speed escalators to get the food and then go back up to the restaurant. The galley is not right next to it. Now some think this is great, don't have to go up and over the galley. Turns out you may have to go at least up anyway. And here's why. Many of the public areas are on the second level of the dining room like the Cova and Martini Bar. And the Mercury and Galaxy did a great job of providing access to the lower level of the dining room. One could either go through the dining room and make a descent down the stairs in the dining room *or* they could use the aft foyer, right in front of the dining room, to go down to the lower level of the dining room. The crew has to use the ship more than pax. A galley next to the main dining room, not below it, makes for more efficient movement to and from, faster delivery for the food, and less worn out wait staff. Based on this I consider the galley placement a terrible design element.

RCI elements: glass towers, glass areas protruding into the promenade area, round windows, photo gallery style, glass areas on either side of the ship housing glass elevators on one side and staterooms with huge windows on the other side, cots in the stateroom rather than Celebrity type of beds, spiral notebook document instead of vinyl billfold Celebrity used to use, silly "Save the Waves" name badges, kiosks used in the shops, placement and function of library and Notes.

Constellation decor: I like this ship less than other Celebrity ships I've been on. The ship is pretty, but I don't like Celebrity's ships because they are pretty. I like their understated elegance, chic, period, art deco inspired environment. The Constellation, while quite pretty, didn't have that Celebrity thing that makes me enamored to other Celebrity ships. It didn't have the Millie's richness and elegant, period simplicity, either. It just seemed like a Celebrity-decorated ship but based on a formula, with no soul, no emotion, no New York City connection, no sense of nostalgia, colors more tropical and less vibrant and/or rich than what I like in Celebrity. I didn't care for the foyer carpet, finding it too busy and a fairly crude pattern for Celebrity, and I didn't like the fairly heavy use of gold leaf on some of the seating surfaces on the first level of the foyer. That's a bit too obvious luxury nicey-nice for Celebrity, IMO. Finally, I don't like the cookie cutter approach that Celebrity took with the Millie class regardless of whatever business advantage it may have. They showed different aspects of their style in the Century class, I'm sure glad the Galaxy and Mercury are their own ships and not the Century with the same spaces using different colors and patterns.

Millie class advantages: better space ratio; better flow aft to forward with few if any bottlenecks; nicer pool area; food available in the T-pool area; and I think the most important feature is the high quality specialty restaurant.

But, hey, people do stuff on a ship. What happened on this ship that I find poorly designed?

I mentioned the Viking Group. This really are folks that celebrate the wedding anniversary of travel agent Sue Whitfield and her husband Dave on a cruise ship. We are her clients and friends and there are around 50-60 or so of us in the group. The group usually does RCI ships but did 2 Celebrity ships in 2002.

Viking Group and Celebrity Constellation--not the right mix: The Viking Group is a fun group. Fun for the Viking Group is wearing silly party hats into the dining room to see how the crew and pax will react , this involves them in the festivities. Fun is drinking a fair amount of booze from time to time. Fun is calling one member President, because he looks like Bush Sr. Fun is liking pool games and having guys well built for belly flops to compete in them. It so turns out that Celebrity thought the Viking Group was fun on the Galaxy, hats were encouraged, belly flops provided, they even came up with the idea for the musicians in the dining room to play music to the theme of the hats worn. Constellation. Said it was OK at first then said No, not appropriate for our brand transformation. So far Millennium has undergone a brand transformation. She's painted differently, is doing the champagne thing, chilled towels, piano bar. But Connie isn't, she's doing some of the enhancements, sometimes, but she officially isn't undergoing the brand transformation. So, they were sending mixed messages, the group was resistant because they thought they were getting things that Celebrity later rethought. So, this cruise wasn't going to be like the Galaxy. Now, some of the group found the Galaxy pretty lively where others thought it was dullsville. Celebrity is quite sedate in some ways compared to RCI. The style is different, few if any announcements, no towel animals, no singing waiters, fewer pool games, no toga party, more formal nights, more formality. Some in the Viking group are formal type of folks, but most aren't, and the group dynamic doesn't favor being so formal. Celebrity does have some funloving, interactive staff members. Granville sure is. Swings the hips and dances. But, the directive these days is make Celebrity more formal. Hmmm.

The group is going back to RCI, more activities, looser staff, food not as good, well as good or better, usually not as good. Who knows? More on this later.

My friend Tom: We met on the cruise newsgroup and Celebrity is both one of our lines of choice. Tom's a big snorkeling fan and travels to the islands quite a bit. What I enjoyed about Tom was that he immediately struck up a good relationship with the island residents and supported them by buying their goods. He recognizes for them it is their livelihood and doesn't dismiss them as being an annoyance to his good time or peace. He was game to wear the hats with the group. He's a talented painter and painted a portrait of the Constellation that he presented to the Captain. The Captain loved it.

Tom brought all sorts of snorkel gear for us. He suggested we get sand shoes and these probably saved our feet. He guided us to the best areas of ports that he was very familiar with.

The crew member from various countries: Tom told us about this worker that he always finds on the same ship he's cruising, no matter what Celebrity ship or itinerary. And he's always from another country. One cruise he's from Ecuador, the next Costa Rica, the next, who knows? On the night of the sock hop in Reflections I saw Tom talking to an animated young man. Turns out this was the fellow from the country of his choice. He told us that his job was very easy, just mingle with people and have fun. He's going to do quite well methinks with that attitude.

Meeting the Captain: We've heard of Ioannis. Those that have sailed with him love him and have stories about him. Peg and Derek are great friends of his and have many stories about him. When we met him and presented gifts to him he greeted us warmly and we were then invited to see him on the bridge.

Ioannis on the bridge: He's the Captain. You know that. It is his bridge. Really, men like their toys, and the Connie is a big toy. It has lots of buttons and computer screens. Push the right buttons and it programs itself. But it takes the instincts, the gut instincts, of the Captain to know how to make it feel comfortable and to compensate and to put it a little off course to make the pax more comfortable. Ioannis, who speaks Greek Ioannis English, speaks more with his fingers than his hands. He loves telling stories, both funny and moving. He told us of the difficult-to-maneuver Amerikanis and picked it because it was the biggest challenge to a Captain but also that he had a not so kind name for her (he was asked if he had any nicknames for his ships), he told us the moving story of where he was on 9/11 and how he heard about it, he showed us pictures of the wondrous scenery of the Norwegian fjords on the Northern European itinerary, he served us Greek coffee. He's quite a character, very warm, very welcoming, yet a proud Greek Master. Good guy.

Captain's table: Service was fantastic. Attentive, ladies first, all sorts of sauces brought, fresh pepper out of the pepper mill. Food presentation, very nice, much better than at our table. Then fantastic wine. 1994 Port. When the server asked Ioannis if he should have the gentleman (me!!!) taste it Ioannis says, No, just pour it! This was a flavorful wine, yet pretty light. We got a nice picture of us the next day of us at the Captain's table. And my wife sat to his right, the honoured guest.

They volunteered me: They had karaoke one night. Some of our group performed, but no one solo. Well, I was sitting there listening to people perform. As the evening progressed performing was this guy from New York, that guy from New Jersey, that woman from New York, that guy from New Jersey. I was up earlier with some in the group as part of the President's Men. I thought that was it. Sitting I heard that the next performer is Ben from New Jersey. I thought, some guy with my name from New Jersey. No, it was my group. THEY volunteered me. I had Greek coffee earlier with the Captain. I had 2 martinis, specially made for me, the first one weak, the second one strong, the bartender named them "come back to me" martinis, and I had 2 shooters after dinner. This is the perfect combination, the perfect elixir concoctions to put me in the state to perform "Just a Gigolo" , a song I barely know. I'm up there, the words are on the screen, and whatever words I could make out flashing by, I sang. Others I made up. When there were no words I sang my own or sounds that seemed like words of a nonexistent language. I moved to whatever spirit hit me, and the aforementioned spirits were hitting me inside. The whole thing was a blur. Somehow the audience applauded when it mercifully ended and wanted me to take some extra bows. What the hell did I do up there? I still don't know.

Food and dining service: Michel Roux was aboard. We first saw him at the Ocean Liners specialty restaurant. Not sure what he was doing but we saw him only at the oceanliners restaurant, around the ship, and on the bridge. We didn't see him at the main restaurant though hopefully he visited the galley there and observed things. OK, I mention that buffet food was fine. All was not well in the dining room. First of all, the silverware wasn't always set correctly, one table placement always had something missing. There were no orchids on the table until the 3rd day in the entire dining room and none on last night of the cruise, our guy forgot. Secondly, our waiter did not follow Celebrity serving style. He did not take ladies orders first, he did not always serve from the right, he didn't always bring a fish knife for fish and steak knife for steak. The assistant did not keep our glasses full of water, did not bring fresh pepper around for salads though he was OK with the salad dressing, did not bring coffee to those that requested it. The two were not in sync. The food, itself, was fine on the first two nights, good presentation, tasty, cooked to order. Now, in Celebrity's defense we were on the ship the week the CDC ordered that meat be cooked at least at medium doneness. But most of the meat was dry, overcooked. Lamb, fish, beef, pasta, on 3 nights were all not representative of the menu. Presentation was not uniform, baskets for potatoes were soggy, the food looked thrown on the plate but perhaps got out of place from galley to table. Our food usually came later than others in the dining room. This was the poorest service we've received not only on Celebrity, but on any cruise, and some of the poorest service we've received, anywhere. Celebrity touts their dining food and service. This needs fixing, fast. Hopefully, most of Celebrity's service isn't like this now and more like what we've received from them previously, which has been superb.

Ocean Liners: yes, we found this to be a taste of luxury. We were seated at our table for two, but not facing each other, the seats were arranged so that we were a quarter distance from each other, like an incomplete table for four in a sense. Everything was superb, the service wasn't overbearing, we had plenty of time for ourselves between courses, everything was impeccably timed, plates arrived to both of us simultaneously, waiters informed us of everything we were eating, the main waiter was respectful yet friendly and humorous. My wife was escorted out of the restaurant when she went to the ladies room. Ambiance music was provided by a very able duo, pianist and violinist. The decor in the room was refined and the room was intimate. Food itself, I'm not an expert in gustatory delights, I'm a layman and I'm not even a big eater. But, I found the sauces delicate yet complex, the appetizers all flavorful, our Steak Diane's were medium and especially nice because of the sauce, my wife raved about the goat cheese soufflé. This felt like fine dining, very civilized. Is it what Roux serves in his 3 Michelin Star restaurants? Probably not but probably most couldn't tell the difference. This was a hell of a value at $25 per person. One thing I will mention is that every material quality was stepped up a notch or two. Silverware, wine holders, wine glasses, china, and the silverware was brought with the course, there was not a huge amount of silverware on the table as there is in the main restaurant. A really fine experience.

Music, entertainment: I can not comment on shows. Yes, an important part of cruising but we did not attend any of them. Music is important to us on the ship, a huge priority. Many people enjoy cruising, but not for the same things. Our priorities are different, some of us love to stay on deck and "get sun", some love going to shows, some go for bars, some go for casinos. We don't do casinos, we don't lay out in the sun and feel it is a destructive thing to do to oneself. One of our biggest priorities is the lounge life and specifically opportunities to be where folks who know how to do ballroom dancing, dance. We love the standards of yesteryear. We love Rosemary Clooney, Ella, Sarah, Duke, composers Richard Rogers, Jerome Kern, George Gershwin, we love the whole milieu of a Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers movie and like ships because they offer some of this in a designated room made for this and with the romance of being on the sea. We have had opportunities to find this atmosphere on our cruises, especially the Holland America and previous Celebrity cruises. As mentioned earlier the Savoy and Crystal were our hangouts on the Galaxy and Century, respectively. We didn't have this room, so did we have it at least a bit in the Rendezvous? No. The duo in the Rendezvous played 60s and 70s music, Rolling on the River, stuff like that, and they had a very limited repertoire. Once you heard them the first two nights you heard pretty much all they knew. One of the biggest matches to the ambiance of a period room like the Savoy or Crystal is the opportunities to hear big band jazz and the standards of yesterday, sip wine, meet and greet friends, enjoy the dancing. Didn't get it on this cruise, we had on our eveningwear, we were in the mood for it, we didn't get it. For us, and I understand others feel differently, this strongly impacted our enjoyment of this particular cruise. None of this atmosphere and no venue for it.

We did enjoy the harp player that usually performed in the Cova and the quartet as well. There was a pianist that played some of the standards but we didn't care for his style of playing them. So, we didn't care for two out of the five main performers. We found the party band, that we've found to be excellent all purpose bands on previous Celebrity cruises, to be excellent. These musicians played pretty much only at poolside and in Reflections. We sure would have like it if they played in Rendezvous a few nights and we sure would have like it if the Celebrity orchestra played there as well. Sorry, when you have two dance floors on a 91,000 ton ship, the least you can do is offer different groups for those that were not into the music of the duo that is stationed there.

Another thing missing from previous Celebrity cruises were the a cappella groups. They serenaded the pax on the ship and sort of roamed around and performed unexpectedly. I think Celebrity getting rid of them is a loss, especially since so many enjoyed them. Also missing were roaming musicians in the dining room. We enjoyed them on the Galaxy, another one of those touches that was missing on this cruise.

Another missing element was the line dancing. Again no aft located lounge, so maybe it was done upstairs. What's annoying about this setup is that it takes longer to get to this lounge at the front of the ship and upstairs. It was much easier to go, on the Century ship from the Rendezvous and then one flight up and a bit aft to the aft located night club than to go from the Rendezvous to the observation lounge. So, when I did venture up to the observation lounge, I usually did not find many people there, it was usually fairly empty, until night, where it turned into a disco or where Latin music was played. Line dancing was done a lot on Galaxy and Century, in the night club and on deck, and was fun. Predictable Electric Slide, Macarena, etc., but it is still fun, especially when you know how to do it. On the Century we actually had a country one that was impossible for so many and people ended up falling over each other. Very funny, lots of fun, couldn't find it on this cruise.

So I find the musician interaction aspect of this cruise wanting. Some of the reasons are personal for sure. But others aren't. Others are legitimate missing aspects. I also didn't like that most of the musicians played at the same time, every day.

Now one of the most annoying things I found was sitting in Cova, a nice spot for coffee and tea, centrally located, and hearing recorded piano music being played. There's nothing wrong with recorded music, and the selection agreed with me. The problem was it was so limited, at the most 15 songs, and I don't think it was that many, played over and over, in the same order. Day after day, this became so monotonous. The least they could do is alter the order of the songs but they severely needed to have a much bigger selection. I swear I heard "My Heart Must Go On" from the Titanic, 20 times during the cruise sitting in the Cova. For me, there's something cheap about this.

There was a wonderful Classical pianist that performed one day. He also had a nice manner with the audience. Dry humor. Some self-defecating (you know, I'm going to leave this typo in there), that is, self-deprecating humor. The first night of the cruise there was plenty line dancing and activities and food. A fun night. But, even though this was a port intensive cruise with only one sea day, I think there should have been more in the way of Celebrity live music and interaction that I at least received on previous Celebrity cruises, especially in the  livelier Caribbean.

We were regulars: even with the not to our liking duo downstairs my wife and I still enjoyed the Martini bar/champagne bar area most and visited the nonsmoking Martini Bar almost daily (we are not smokers). Bringing us back to it was the feisty Dorota, as well as her martinis. We always  enjoy chatting with crew members and on this cruise it was Darota that  we visited often and here we met a few people who were also regulars. Claudine sampled the various martinis and her favorites are the apple and French.

Milton: yes, I was told that Milton made wicked drinks. Yes, Milton was very obliging. Describe the drink and Milton would make a custom version just for you. I requested a "wicked citrus vodka martini with spice". I received, from Mr. Milton, a citrus vodka martini with a slice of jalepeno. It was wicked, really cleaned me out, in a liquid plumber sense. Well I asked for wicked, and that's what I got. Milton is another of Celebrity's bar server standouts.

Sonia: Sonia is the future cruise consultant. We saw her on the Galaxy and thought she was very generous and helpful. I saw Sonia almost everyday for a consultation and told her, diplomatically and hopefully constructively, of the shortcomings I found on this cruise. She thought my comments would be helpful and I should let them be known to the hotel manager and to some at Celebrity. She told me all about the brand transformation and thanked me for supporting Celebrity and to look for improvements in the future.

Back to Barbados: Much of my family are from Barbados. I last went there at around age 9 or so. At this age the sense of community and the culture of Barbados could not be appreciated by me, a boy from New York City. I thought it was fairly uncivilized and poor at that time. It so happens that Barbados is relatively prosperous compared to most Caribbean islands, it still seems more British than American and not overrun with American establishments like some other countries. My wife first tried mauby, the very popular drink of the Caribbean made from tree bark. Her initial response was positive, but she couldn't deal with the after taste. Mauby is an acquired taste, but once most people acquire a taste for it they can't get enough of it. Bridgetown was pretty dull, some shops and slightly run down looking. But, while walking around my wife, obviously tired, gave the OK for an inquiring cab driver to give us a tour of the island that went through many sections of the island.

One wonderful thing about our visit is that we have friends in Barbados that we were trying to hook up with but did not get in contact with before we got there. We had a partial address and the personnel at the pier tried their very best to get us in contact with our friends and we appreciate their hard work and effort.

Snorkeling for the first time: I'm not a beach person or water person. I never go to beaches in the summer. So, we decide to go in Antigua. We snorkeled in ??????? (don't know the name of it, Tom picked it out) in fairly clear and shallow water. At first I had to get used to being in the water. I went into the water and it felt cold. It wasn't but I'm not used to it. So I screamed like a small child as each part of my body became submerged into the water. Next, fit the snorkel. After a few tries Tom's provided snorkel fit on my head comfortably enough. Next, put head in water. Panic. I'm trying to breathe through my nose and I'm suffocating! Help! I hoist my head out of the water. Tom's saying, keep trying, just get comfortable. I try again, breathe through my mouth a few times then back to nose. Panic again. Took a few tries but finally I was able to put my head underneath for awhile. But, from time to time water came into the mask so I had to learn how to blow it out. We go near some rocks, I see a few small fish. Excitement. I don't move much but they seem to come near me. Yes, this is pretty cool, I can see how people can get hooked on it. Water feels warm now. I'm between walking and putting my head down to occasionally full-body floating. In the meanwhile my much more adventurous wife is floating and seeing much more. Tom takes her out to deeper water to see coral. He demands that I stay in shallow water and just stand up when I feel a panic attack. He's right of course, I don't have a clue of what I'm doing, I'm only semi comfortable in the water and he's like a fish in comparison. But I stay and see my two or three fish, my friends at this point. But then, boldness sets in. I'm ready, I'm ready to go into 5 feet water, I'm ready to not go into the coral. I wave out to Tom and then I go meet them. And yes, I did see coral, and yes, I didn't bump into it thankfully, and I saw a few more fish, bigger fish. Don't ask me what they were, Tom told me what they were, I don't remember, they weren't big enough to scare the hell out of me, that's all I know. After awhile we both came back to the shallow part where Tom fed the fish some bread. Wow, they all flashed by and devoured the bread in seconds. What a site! This was a good experience. Claudine snorkeled the next day in deeper water and saw huge fish in Trunk's Bay, St. Johns. I stayed on the ship but I can say now that I snorkeled. Give me my medal.

Celebrity and the Caribbean: I came to this cruise not having sailed Celebrity in the Caribbean before. I did Alaska and Europe. Thought the ship/cruise style felt wonderful there. In the Caribbean they just feel too formal for me. Going from the Caribbean ports to the posh ship feels strange. I know I'm one of the few that feels this way but somehow I felt Royal Caribbean just felt better suited for the Caribbean. I'll only sail Celebrity again with friends in the Caribbean. As a couple, it is West Coast/East Coast United States, Canada, Europe, Alaska, and perhaps other itineraries for Celebrity. For a premium cruise in the Caribbean I think Princess may be the choice, though we haven't tried them yet. So we'll see.

Fixing the Millennium class: does it need fixing? People seem to like it. Yet, the T-pool has caused Celebrity grief. For folks that like lounges for dancing it needs fixing. I'd like to see Celebrity find a way to take advantage of the Millie's strengths. I'd like to somehow make the dance floor of the Rendezvous larger. Put one in Michael's Club. Put more banquet styled seating in the Martini/Champagne bar. Put some lamps on the tables. Add more charm to it. Perhaps add some window treatment in this area besides the roman shades. Perhaps even designate a small area where people can dance if they feel the urge, otherwise drill a hole someplace and put a stairway down to the dance floor. I'd like to get rid of the conservatories and put some sort of lounge there, or even put the teen's area there. I'd like to see them take one of the glass towers and make it a chic caviar and fine finger food hideout with perhaps a pianist or harpist playing there. I'd like to see something done to the observation lounge to make it more intimate in areas, perhaps raise the floor of the outside area so that the disco in the middle appears sunken in a bit. I'd like to get rid of half the shops and put in some sort of juice bar or art gallery, or something. Finally, if it is possible to put in a Century like, for pay T-pool area for those that want the more private feeling T-pool area.

Celebrity confused?: I just wonder about the brand transformation initiatives. For those that don't know it is based on 3 parts. Rejuvenation, Enrichment and Connections. Rejuvenation will bring longer spa hours, poolside massage, topless bathing, cafe food upgrade, energy drinks available, sorbet available, and chilled towels at poolside Topless is controversial in the US. And all of this sounds pretty expensive except for the cafe food upgrade. Enrichment will include art lectures, photo seminars, fashion shows at poolside and elsewhere, enhanced wine tasting, exclusive shore excursions, late night comedian and a full time librarian. All of these sound like upscale enhancements except for the late night comedian. I guess it is how they pull this off, I lot of expletives won't feel upscale, "adult" topics done in a certain way, will.Connections includes officers hosting tables, specialty parties,  Executive Chef cooking, Marine roundtable (?), Sports Bar program, champagne on embarkation, piano bars and cocktail lounges. Let’s see, don't know what a marine roundtable is, most Celebrity ships don't have sports bar so I don't know what this is about either. But these are ideas, some of these will remain, some won't, all will be tested in the coming months.

All well and good. But, many of Celebrity's current customers cruise Celebrity for value. They want a big casino, lots of food and available when they want it, and want to have fun at least in the Caribbean. Where does Celebrity plan to get the people interested in their upscale enhancements and even if they do, how many are willing to pay for some of them? And what about the sense that Celebrity's food is slipping. The old Celebrity fans are more interested in them bringing the food back to the highest level for a mass market line than the chilled towels. Also, since expansion, not all the crew is that well trained. So, some process of identifying the underperforming staff and getting those capable up to snuff and getting rid of those that aren't has to be done. Celebrity seems to recognize this and has hired a firm to anonymously go on the ships and report back what they find. Bottom line; it'll take time if Celebrity gets the target clientele they are looking for and many of them won't be who are on their ships right now.

Yes, this was a fairly schizo cruise. Wonderful time with the Captain, wonderful crew for the most part, very very clean ship, well appointed and posh ship, ship with excellent fore to aft flow, best food ever on a ship in the specialty restaurant with service to match, met Michel Roux, sat at Captain's table, became an entertaining celebrity of my own right. But there was the ship that didn't work for me, lack of jazz, repetitious music played in the Cova, lacklustre evening to night life, poor dining room service and a few nights of abysmal dining entrees, and general feeling of being bored and actually being glad when the cruise was over. Of course, being with my friends on the Viking cruise was wonderful. But, it was way more wonderful last year where everything worked and nothing was at odds with the cruise. This one didn't go so well.

Tidbits: I'd suggested to the hotel manager that Celebrity make a condensed and smaller version of the dailies. I think the dailies could use improvement. Also, Celebrity actually did an announcement one day.It started off OK with the CD giving navigational coordinates and weather conditions but then went into the scheduling of events for the day and sales. Boo, this is not Celebrity and this should be axed right away.

Benjamin Smith
benjs@ix.netcom.com

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