Celebrity Cruises
Zenith Cruise Review
Western Caribbean

Jay
The Zenith is an older boat and it is smaller than others I have been on. Celebrity prides itself in treating they’re guests “famously” but as one, I felt much more popular on other ships. I would like to preface the review with the unusually low price I paid for my girlfriend and I. Five nights for $570. Sailing on Celebrity I assumed that “you get what you pay for” wouldn’t be a phrase I would use. But I was wrong.

Elderly is okay. Our fellow passengers were filled with prescription meds and bad food. We were among the 20% of those under 70. Lines moved slower, conversations were about grandchildren, and the entertainers only played songs from the 50’s and 60’s.

Entertainment was boring. I’m so sick of Broadway reviews and dorky cruise directors. They did 3 review type shows and two special guest shows (magician/comedian), which were better than expected. However after “Showtime” you had 3 options. Guitar player, Piano Player, or Lounge act. Sounds like a lot but the same thing every night was very frustrating.

We were hungry. If you miss dinner, you’re screwed. Pizza and pasta are the only regular late night offering. Yup, no buffets, no grill, no nothing. Some finger foods one night and fruit and sherbet another. R-i-d-i-c-u-l-o-u-s! Food in the dining room (only one) was okay. Got a kick out of how they brought up the chef and hailed him as a culinary wizard. A lot of back patting happens on this ship and we just didn’t buy it.

This boat ROCKS! From the waves of the ocean. We spent less time on stairs but more time walking into walls.

Dirty, Old, Ugly. The boat, the boat and the boat. Scrapes, scratches and stains must have been the look they were going for. They were a regular theme on every deck. The casino, bars and lounges all stunk of cigarettes. Mirrors were in need of a “Windex-ing” and stains on chairs needed to be removed. The staff walked around spraying dis-infectant on everything as it was an end all be all of cleanliness. They often left the seats wet, which stained the white pants of my girlfriends outfit.

GET US OFF! Ports were great. We biked our first time in Key West, Rented a car for our 2nd time in Cozumel. Went to Mr Sancho’s which was deserted. Our own private beach. Finally Costa Maya (mahaual) were even the dogs were depressed. 2 dollar beers were mucho appreciated-o. Go to the beach club all the way at the end, the one with the swings at the bar. Edgar is a great waiter.

Our cabin was absurd. The toilet overflowed onto the floor every night. The shower had no temperature control Went from hot to scolding. The safe broke with my stuff in it, the tv programming froze up and frequently didn’t work, and our room was always noisy. Apparently we were below some sort of hammering room where men would yell at each other all night. It was pretty much a nightmare.

Service Sucked! They spent more time telling us how great the service was than actually providing it. Sure they say hello, sure they scoop my food, but quit staring at my girlfriend. Waiters won’t leave you alone on deck, the drinks they bring are weak and they have the Gaul to have a line for an extra tip when you sign. Our waiter was great. Biser, I made sure to tip him less than what the cruise line suggests. 40 bucks yeah right!

The Good? They did give us our first ever table for 2. It was right next to the piano so we could have deep conversations interrupted by applause. On screen bill display was helpful if you’re drinking on a budget. Several small heart attacks are much better than one major one. Robes were in the closet and appreciated and so was the free beach bag. Aside from that….eh.

This will be our last cruise. I realized again why we took a year off from boats. We would prefer to get away from schedules, deadlines and fat cruisers. But for $570, how could I not get it.

Email me for questions, I have all the answers- jay at 98pxy.com

PS- don’t rent a car from thrifty Miami to get to Ft Lauderdale. Take a taxi. Less hassle