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NCL America
Pride of America Cruise Review
Hawaii

Kyle R. Woods
Age: 24
Occupation: Student
Number of Cruises: 5
Sailing Date: April 1st, 2006

Travesty of the Seas

“How did you spend your spring break?” I am asked. While many people spent it at home, watching movies or lounging about in their armchairs, I had the misfortune to take a cruise on board the Pride of America. The cruise visited beautiful Hawaii, and my on-land experience was pleasant and enjoyable. However, my experience on the ship cast such a negative shadow over my vacation that it cannot be overlooked.

The “Shame of America” is staffed by a plethora of pathetic, problematic pricks, pardon the phrase. Never in my life have I encountered such unpleasant employees. Sadly, the reason for this is no secret. The ship is registered in Honolulu, Hawaii, instead of a foreign port. As such, the ship is subject to United States and Hawaii law, including taxes and withholdings, as well as labor and wage laws. As such, the ship is not seen as a prime employment opportunity for the highly trained and highly skilled international employees that staff other ships. Rather than attracting employees skilled in basic courtesy and hospitality, the ship takes mostly second-rate staff, or worse. No self-respecting cruise line employee would touch this ship. A few examples should demonstrate this:

Our cabin stewardess, Rosie, is the type of woman who would surely be fired from even the worst hotel on land. Her deplorable service is best seen in the experience of my father. Shortly after embarking, he had a few shirts to be laundered. He filled the out laundry service request form and placed it, along with a bag containing the articles of clothing he requested be laundered, in the middle of his bed. On two occasions, Rosie picked up the bag to make the bed, then returned it to the bed. To get his shirts laundered, my father had to call the head housekeeper. A second example, on the first night of the cruise, my father spilled a few cookie crumbs on the balcony. Those same cookie crumbs were still on the balcony on the final evening of the cruise, showing that the stewardess had even attempted to sweep the balcony. Finally, when Rosie desired to enter the cabin to do what little cleaning she was willing to do, she would knock three times. Then, even if she were told we were still in the room, she would come in. Upon seeing that we were still there, she would ask “What, would you like me to come back later?” and would dare to say it in a tone of affront and offense! It gets better, though. You only get one shot with Rosie! Rather than returning when we were away at dinner, she would simply not come back at all.

Next, we turn to the dining service! If you are looking for excellent service, go to the self-service buffet! That’s the only place to get your meal served warm, timely, and as you like it. We ate at almost all of the ship’s restaurants. In the “Liberty” we were attended to by Shauna and Tallin. Tallin, the assistant waiter, introduced himself, filled our water glasses, and then disappeared until dessert. Rather than giving us bad service, he gave us no service at all! Shauna, on the other hand, was a disaster on two legs. In addition to messing up every order we placed, she also brought our food as slowly as possible. Whereas on other ships, your requests are fulfilled almost before you can make them, Shauna chose not to fulfill them at all, even when uttered repeatedly. She was obviously concerned about out carb consumption, for she never refilled our bread basket even after we requested that she do so. She also helped us watch our figures by not bringing us refills on our soft drinks. Her shining star of the evening occurred when I requested parmesan cheese on my pasta. She acted as though I had ordered a tin of caviar and disappeared. When it became apparent that she would not return before my pasta became too cold to eat, I ate it without the cheese. After I was long finished, she finally appeared with a small dish, not a fresh cheese grater! Moreover, she seemed offended that I had not waited twenty minutes for her to return. Also, those who ordered baked potatoes were forced to wait for Michelle, another waitress, to get around to coming over with a tray of toppings. However, Michelle only serviced two of our party, and the third baked potato eater had to get Michelle’s attention on separately, and wait for her to find time to return to finish her job. The potato was then too cold to eat. Dessert was another fiasco. The menu promised crème brule, however the incompetent cooks could not operate the burner to carmalize the sugar, so they decided to substitute what Shauna called “strawberry shortcake.” However, what Tallin (on his second appearance of the evening) brought was a cake with neon pink cream. When we pointed out that strawberry shortcake was supposed to have strawberries, he said that this was “our version” of strawberry shortcake.

Now, if this shambles of service were an isolated incident, I could perhaps have overlooked it as a fluke. However, our other restaurant experiences were no better. The only difference is that one must pay extra for the poor service he receives from other restaurants! Take “Jefferson’s Bistro.” The service was almost competent until desert. Desert that day was pineapple flambé, an exciting proposition. However, the incompetent baboons were apparently unable to operate a lighter, and it took three waiters and the head waiter to light the simple flame. The waiters kept coming and coming, and I noted that they should of right be climbing out of a tiny car and honking horns and squirting seltzer from flowers! Don’t forget the “Cadillac Diner” where they bring you your soup and salad a few moments after your entrée.

The only decent service we received was from a young waiter named Osman at the “Lazy J” steakhouse. Quick and efficient, Osman brought us what we ordered and at a reasonable pace. The blemish on the evening was that the “steakhouse” seemed unable to tell the difference between “medium rare” and “well done.” Furthermore, the steakhouse “ran out” of ribeye steak, meaning that no one felt like going to the freezer to get some more. They sent poor Osman out to lie to us, but we can hardly fault him personally for that. They also refused to offer us the apricot flambé because we were there a little late, and no one wanted to clean the flambé cart again.

I mentioned earlier that the buffet was decent. This applies to everything but the drink service. We wanted a can of Diet Coke. However, when we requested one, the girl told us she was out. On another ship, she would have said “We’re out, but some one is running down to get some more.” On this ship, after we asked her to go find some, she said that she did not have time to do so. Such shoddy service would never pass muster on the other lines.

Let us not forget the “Waffle Nazi!” There is, as on many ships, a waffle bar, where one can obtain waffles. As expected, the ship employs only one person to make waffles, a man who could well be the cousin of the Seinfeld “Soup Nazi.” The man had the audacity to yell at and lecture guests who asked for a whole waffle. He also keeps a supply of burnt waffles to pass off on children to intimidated to complain. Atrocious!

If any of these dining rooms had been a restaurant on land, we would never have returned after receiving such poor service.

Now we turn to the embarkation service. In the hospitality business, one is expected to anticipate lines and waits and make appropriate adjustments. However, this ship chose rather to make its guests wait. This is because, in times of obvious high demand, they still employed only one or two people to swipe cards at checkout. This is not because there was no room for more employees, but rather because the management simply did not care. The tender service was atrocious. Rather than loading two boats at once, they loaded only one, even close to sailing time, when there was obviously and rightly a high demand to get on the ship. The tenders were operated by private contractors, so the ship cannot even claim that it was short staffed! Lines to get on the ship were usually between 30 minutes to an hour.

One final point. The ship advertised itself as having two days on Kauai. However, for the convenience of the ship’s personnel, they canceled the second day.

The lousy service is caused mostly by the pompous attitude of the management of the ship. Workers will only get away with what those in charge are willing to tolerate. Obviously, the management on the Pride of America is not in the business of pleasing passengers!

In conclusion, if you are looking for a ship staffed by crabby, cranky, unfriendly, unpleasant, incompetent, impersonal, and generally rude personnel, sign up to sail on board the Pride of America. If you want decent or even exceptional service, sign up for a different trip from a different company.

From an economic or geopolitical perspective, the cruise was fascinating; all members of the incompetent staff have one thing in common: United States Citizenship. I think this coincidence to be more than mere happenstance. Those ships staffed my foreign workers grateful to have a well-paying job and be able to see the world at the same time provide that brand of service one grows to expect from a cruise. This ship, however, is staffed by thankless Americans, too full of themselves and too prideful to do the jobs they are paid to do. I am embarrassed to share citizenship with people like that! The ship’s staff and the deplorable work ethic they possess is perhaps the best example I can think of in favor of immigrant labor. We need the foreigners because they are honest, hardworking, and willing; the Devil take the pompous bastards who staff this ship!

Truly, a cruise on board the Pride of America is unlike any cruise you have ever taken in your life!