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Old 02-12-2007, 01:44 PM
Ptur's Avatar
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Dunedin New Zealand
Posts: 208
Those of you traveling to Europe will have to get used to a new language

Subject: European English

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the European Union rather than German,
which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-
year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have
one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond
year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make
words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag
is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking CHerman like zey vunted in
ze forst plas.
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Old 02-12-2007, 06:58 PM
Chef Ken's Avatar  
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Bloomington, MN
Posts: 2,259
That is hilarious!
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 02-12-2007, 08:55 PM
Zeenichka's Avatar
Junior Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: California
Posts: 21
Oh my gosh I literally laughed out loud
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 02-13-2007, 06:31 AM
Raoul Fiebig's Avatar
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Paderborn, Germany
Posts: 8,512

da bleibe ich doch besser bei der deutschen Sprache. (Guess I'll better stick to the German language)
Best regards,

Raoul Fiebig

  #5 (permalink)  
Old 02-14-2007, 04:02 PM
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 158

Too funny!!!

The crazy thing is....if I can understand people in Europe as well as I understood that post, I'd actually be thrilled! *LOL*
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 04-30-2007, 08:58 AM
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: ITALIA
Posts: 166
Hey Ptur, I have joined this site just a few uix (er ... I mean, weeks) ago and have read your post only now.

I'm from Europe.
Our beloved Commission has accustomed us to the strangest decisions.
Seems to me they have regulate, among a lot of other curious things, "the grandmother's marmalade recipe" and have banned "the bendy bananas" too.

Actually, I don't care about the caliber of marmalade recipes (I'm more involved in marmalade ... ) and buy everyday good old yellow traditional bananas.

But the point is: ARE YOU KIDDING or NOT ?

I can't tell if you are or aren't: take a look at the site "get your facts straight" from the European Commission...
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 04-30-2007, 11:06 AM
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: birmingham, al
Posts: 1,843
that was pretty funny
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carnival, cruise, europe, language, languages, official

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