Now obviously, the T/A commission was nothing at which to sneeze. At the time I thought it strange that the only communication any of us ever received (other than the gentleman who made the arrangements) was a hand scrawled note on a torn piece of paper advising us once everything was paid. No perks of any kind, not even so much as a thank you from the T/A or any contact even after we returned.
Southern, I'm a travel agent dealing almost exclusively with group cruises. I've dealt with some groups where the group leader handled everything with me, such that I never had any contact information for anyone else in the group. The group leader gave me everyone's name, and eventually, everyone's credit card number. Royal Caribbean does not require I provide an address for the client when I make a payment for them using their credit card. Unless group members have contacted me on their own with questions, I have sent groups off where all my dealings have been with one person.
That said, that's not the usual way I work with groups, as I have everyone fill out an information sheet with contact information, type of room requested, etc. But it's possible that your group leader preferred and prefers to be the only one dealing with the agent.
As for perks, I know that I send a cabin gift to each cabin, but not all agents do that. Royal Caribbean's pricing is the same for groups as individuals. The main perk for being a group usually falls to the group leader unless s/he chooses to share it with the group. If one person is doing all the legwork, s/he may choose, justifiably or not, to keep the perk to himself or herself.
As for the travel agent not getting back in touch with you after your very thoughtful and considerate email, it could have been a rude act, it could have been an oversight (not likely with all the emails you sent) or, it could have been that the group leader wants to be the point of contact and doesn't want the travel agent dealing directly with members of the group.
As for your cabin showing up in the list of available cabins, again there could be several explanations. There is a delay in information showing up on the web site.
In the future, you can ask the group leader to provide you with your individual booking number for your cabin, not the group booking number. When the agent assigns names to a particular cabin, an individual booking number is generated by the cruise line. Having that booking number is proof, at least with Royal Caribbean, that you have been booked into a specific cabin. If you needed to, you could talk to Royal Caribbean yourself about your cabin, once you have the booking number. You would need to talk to the Group Department, as the regular Reservations Department can't pull up a cabin within a group, even with the booking number.
I'm not trying to lay blame with your group leader or with the cruise line. I'm just giving you some scenarios that could have taken place that would have resulted in the circumstances you described.